Things you are never told as a child: Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy do not really exist, you gotta roll with the punches and marriage can sometimes be hard work.
They say opposites attract. Paul, my husband, and I are pretty different. I’d say he’s an introvert. I’m an extrovert. He sometimes thinks he’s an island. I understand that you can’t manage everything all by yourself and I often go to my mother, sister, brother, friends for advice or to talk. Paul is only close to a few people. Also, we were raised differently. I realized pretty quickly after we got married how this made us into the people we are today. I mean it’s obvious. How you are raised, brought up, nurtured as a kid is going to shape the adult/person you will grow to be.
Also, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Yes, I know this. Men and women are different. We think differently. We prioritize things differently. We act differently. Sometimes, Paul and I don’t always agree on everything but what’s important is #1) that you understand where the other person is coming from, hear them out and what he is trying to say and #2) how you work with each other on an outcome, conclusion or solution.
Is our marriage perfect? No way. I’m not sure that perfect marriages exist out there. But can a marriage be wonderful, rich, loving and fulfilling? YES. Recently, some friends and I were discussing little things in a marriage that can have a big impact. Like, how you say goodbye in the mornings and how you greet each other when arriving at home. How you talk to your spouse in front of your kids, how you treat each other, do you show affection? Do you say “I love you”?
Marriage can sometimes be hard work. I think every mother should tell her kids this, when they are – of course- old enough to understand this and especially when they get to the age when they are thinking about marriage. I’m personally learning more and more each year. Learning differences. Accepting them, appreciating them. I still go to bed angry sometimes but we work it out the next day. Sometimes, when we argue, I get fuming mad. But I’ve learned how to control what comes out of my mouth and to think. Sometimes I just need time and as a wise 4 year old once said, “Tomorrow is a new day.” Every couple fights. It’s how you recover and move on from those fights/arguments that’s important. And I see now why opposites attract. It’s balance, yo. Paul and I balance each other out. Without me, Paul would know nothing about pop culture or fashion, we would have no social life and he would be tough as nails. Paul keeps our family grounded, centered and a little goofy and silly. And I love him for this.
Paul would never spend almost $30 on 2 lobster tails to make a pasta dish. Never. He just never would. And I know he’s not alone here. He’s not a cheap guy but I’d say he’s more on the practical side. He’d rather spend more to get more. I, on the other hand, especially now that I am cooking more, want to get my hands on everything and taste and eat everything and, much like my father did while I was growing up, I want to expose my children to different foods while they are still young, impressionable and actually listen to me. Because there will come a day when they are bigger than me and won’t want to listen to a thing I say. I’ve been wanting to make this ever since I laid eyes on the recipe in my Cooking Light magazine, from the November 2012 issue. So, hey, I waited 5 months to try this.
Sunday was the day. I wanted to do something special and recently lobsters came up in conversation with my daughter, who is being very curious about seafood and absolutely loved watching me cook these guys up. We all pitched in on this dinner. I cooked up the lobster tails with my sous chef, who constantly said to her 2 year old sister, “Hey Madeline, wanna come see the lobsters?” (Next time we must get entire lobsters.) Paul removed the lobster meat from the tails. I continued with the cream sauce preparation and we all enjoyed this meal together. I am going to file this under Special Dinners for sure. If you can get your hands on some lobster tails, you must try this. It’s delicious!
And for anyone who needs to hear this, let’s be thankful for what we have, work to keep what we have and appreciate the differences. That’s what life is all about right?
I hope you enjoy.
Creamy Lobster Pappardelle
Ingredients
- 1 8-ounce package uncooked pappardelle (wide ribbon pasta)
- 2 cups dry white wine
- 1/2 cup chicken stock
- 1 thyme sprig
- 2-3 5-ounce American lobster tails
- 1 cup or one package cremini mushrooms; chopped and sautéed with olive oil
- 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil + more for the mushrooms
- 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt + more for seasoning
- 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper + more for taste
- 2-3 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
- 2 tablespoons fresh parsley
- 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
- freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano optional
Instructions
- Cook pasta according to package directions, drain.
- While pasta cooks, bring the wine, chicken stock, and a thyme sprig to a boil in a large skillet. Add the lobster tails. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 5 minutes or until done. Remove the lobster from pan, and cool slightly. Remove the meat from the lobster tails; coarsely chop.
- (In a separate pan, sauté your sliced mushrooms with olive oil and a little salt.)
- Back to the pan with the wine mixture, add the olive oil, salt, and pepper to the wine mixture in pan; bring to a boil. Cook 14 minutes or until reduced to 1/2 cup. Discard the thyme sprig. Stir in the cream. Add lobster meat, mushrooms and pasta to sauce. Cook 1-2 minutes or until the sauce coats the pasta, and toss. Sprinkle with parsley, thyme and some Parmigiano-Reggiano if desired. Serve immediately.
Recipe adapted from 
Such a beautiful heartfelt post Alice. I truly enjoyed reading it. I agree with everything you said…my hubby and I are opposites, but we hold the same values which is the important part. Marriage has been a lot more challenging since the arrival of our daughter, but we are figuring things out. We have a strong foundation, I’m greatful for having him in my life.
Thank you so much, Brandi! Values and the foundation are the most important! Totally agree with you.
I think the issue lies in not creating so many expectations on kids, so they grow to understand that life is never perfect. But look at any magazine or ad and you see where we get our ideas from. Lovely post Alice! I could picture you and your family preparing this wonderful meal.
Paula,
Absolutely! Here in the states, for children or young girls, I feel like it’s all Disney and princess and fairy tales. . life CAN be great and wonderful but usually not without struggle and hard times (for the most part). Also, I think the parents play the most important role model for the children. what we teach them, what we show them etc. . but I think that’s what you are saying here anyway! 🙂 It must start at home.
lovely post! as a student, I wouldn’t spend $30 either, but every now and then, Dominick’s has frozen tails for $5-6 each and I almost always buy some when that happens. I actually have 2 chillin’ in my freezer right now 🙂 I like making mine into a pasta dish as well since I do not have to worry about side dishes. I cooked a live lobster once and I almost cried when we had to kill him, so I don’t think I’ll be doing it again any time soon even though it tasted wonderful!
Lovely post, Alice. Using lobster tails is always nice and convenient. Of late, within the last couple of years, I have taken to buying whole, live lobsters between 1.5 – 2 lbs. @. I can find them on sale periodically for $9/lb. You get more lobster, plus the shell for lobster stock which makes incredible sauces or additions to soups. The only problem with buying whole lobsters is 1) you have to kill the lobster which some people just can’t do; an 2) it’s a little more trouble. If you can get past the first part, the little extra trouble is more than worth it, and it’s economical 🙂
What a lovely story, Alice. Raised in Asian culture, we’re not taught to be expressive in our sayings, rather we show it through our actions. But you’re right, little things matter, as simple as saying I love you, or how we greet each other in the morning or before bed time. Such a good reminder. And yes, to lobster pappardelle – I love pappardelle (and angel hair) so much and I always prefer white sauce over marinara, so this is my kind of pasta. Phoebe and Maddy must be happy exploring new menu with you. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your insight on marriage. Tim and I are very different as well. He’s an introvert but becomes quite the chatter box when we are home by ourselves. I, on the other hand, am an extrovert and love socializing and having a good time. That’s just one example. But as much as we differ, we also compliment each other very well. Thank goodness!
I’ve never cooked with lobster tail before. I would def need Tim to be in the kitchen with me as I don’t do exoskeleton. Yes, I was spoiled as a child. My dad used to always pick out the meat for me. $30 may seem expensive but it would have been much more expensive if you were to order it at a restaurant. Plus, you get to feed 4 people. Not too shabby I say 😉
I enjoy all your posts so much, Alice. This one is a real gem. Not only do I freaking LOVE lobster and pasta (I’m drooling over your photos right now), but I totally agree with your thoughts on love ‘n marriage. It’s never easy, it takes a lot of work. It’s about compromise, cooperation and being able to see the other person’s side. Tony ‘n I have been together 12 years (4 of which we’ve lived together, 1 1/2 married). It’s not always perfect but we make it work because we love and respect each other. Oy, there are a lot of trying times but as long as we don’t stew in anger and resentment, we always resolve our issues and can laugh about it later. I hope I get to meet Paul and your lil ones someday soon!